Five Give Up the Booze

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786482274

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 5536

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze. Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them? The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

Five Go Gluten-Free

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781786482228

Category: Diet therapy

Page: 112

View: 3251

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: is it possible to get a good gluten-free cream tea? Julian, Anne, Dick, George and Timmy are all feeling really rather rum, and it's been going on for days. Nothing seems to work, and with their doctors mystified, they're driven to trying out various expedients to cure themselves. Julian goes online to self-diagnose that he's got pancreatic cancer, bird flu and Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Anne decides that the old methods are the best and decides to have herself exorcised - which proves to be an awful lot of bother for everyone, and such a mess. Dick goes to a witch-doctor who calls himself a 'homeopath' ('sounds only one short of sociopath, Dick!') but it's George who discovers they need to go on an exclusion diet, so they enter a world of hard-to-find, maddeningly expensive specialist foods . . . Just perfect for anyone who likes Deliciously Ella, Amelia Freer and the Naturalista - as well as any reluctant partners who are begrudgingly spiralising courgettes for dinner.

Five on Brexit Island

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781786483843

Category: Famous Five (Fictitious characters)

Page: 112

View: 2032

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, can George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy survive the ultimate test of their friendship: Brexit? It is the night of the referendum and the Five have retired to Kirrin Island to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, fed up with the rancour of public debate. George is firmly a 'remainer,' whilst Julian, who is in the 'Brexit' camp, is tolerated on the grounds that Anne cannot bear to go camping without him. (Timmy, largely apolitical but not keen on cats or rabbits, joins them too.) The night is tempestuous in more ways than one. George has managed to rig up a satellite link with the mainland so they can keep abreast of the news, and they sit huddled around the fire, amidst some tension, as George's initial hope that the 'remainers' will triumph proves premature... Meanwhile, a violent storm whips up. The damage is apparent as the new day dawns and George declares a new meaning for Brexit: Kirrin Island is exiting Britain...that is, until the red tape becomes too much of a challenge and their happy life together is under threat. Perfect for anyone sick of hearing that 'Brexit means Brexit', or for that relative you're still not talking to because of how they voted...

Five Go On A Strategy Away Day

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786482258

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 1052

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: what exactly is this puzzling scrape referred to as a 'strategy away day'? The Five have gone on their greatest adventure yet - to become an even better team! They are booked into an exciting hotel right next to the jolly motorway services, where the nice (if somewhat nervous and sweating and depressed) man teaches them a number of exercises that will make them work better. But wait! Who's been sneaking messages through the hotel dumb waiter about secret assignations? Is there a smuggler's plot afoot? Or is Shelly from Production shagging Postroom Luke? All will be revealed . . . Ideal for those who are allergic to corporate jargon and will throw a sickie before having to play a trust game with colleagues.

Five at the Office Christmas Party

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781786487674

Category: Humor

Page: 112

View: 6411

Everyone tensed and leaned forward, wondering who this new arrival could be. A stripper? Surely not. A music act? Please no.' From the author of Number One Christmas bestseller, Five on Brexit Island, join the Five in their next hilarious adventure in this bestselling series for grown-ups! The Five set out to give the best office Christmas party ever, in the most traditional of fashions. But on no budget at all. Will they succeed, and make everyone happy? Or will all the emergency services be called before the night is out?

Five Get Gran Online

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Quercus Publishing

ISBN: 1786484722

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 791

'What operating system does your PC run on?' 'Electricity,' said Gran. From the author of Number One Christmas bestseller, Five on Brexit Island, join the Five in their next hilarious adventure in this bestselling series for grown-ups! The Five go north to see their grandmother who is alone over the Easter weekend. They're shocked to find it's been so long that they don't recognise her at all. While they're there, they try to help her with her computer. They try first to fix her iTunes account, and then her internet banking - after all it's the least they can do! However everything they touch turns to dust. They end up getting her cut off from the internet, the gas and the electricity, and reduced to a World War II-style privations - that is until the toddler from next door comes in and fixes everything. They return home somewhat with their tails between their legs, only to discover that with their help Gran has learned to make videos, and has become an internet sensation.

Five Go Parenting

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786482290

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 1900

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront possibly their toughest challenge yet: parenthood Bringing up a baby would surely be kid's play for The Five. How hard could it possibly be?! When the doorbell rings one Saturday afternoon, the last thing the Five were expecting to find on their doorstep was a baby... But the Five are next of kin to Cousin Rupert and his wife, so when they find themselves in a spot of bother and are destined for a short spell behind bars, Anne, Dick, George and Anne are the first port of call. First, it's the fear and the tiredness that kicks in. They are terrified at being responsible for this new life and have no idea they're doing it right. Why is it crying? They use Dr Google constantly, who whatever the situation offers the same range of advice from 'don't worry about it' to 'rush her to the A&E'. 'Why is she crying?' they constantly ask. 'Why?' It keeps them up all night every night, until they are reduced to walking ghosts, haunted by a numb and impotent fury. Is this an adventure too far for our Five?

Five Lose Dad in the Garden Centre

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786487543

Category: Humor

Page: 112

View: 1203

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Uncle Quentin what a jolly good chap he is. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they celebrate Father's Day by taking Uncle Quentin to the local garden centre to chose a new garden shed in which to conduct his experiments. But what promised to be a relaxed outing turns into a nightmare when Quentin disappears into thin air. He surely cannot have gone far . . .

Grisly Tales from Tumblewater

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 0330479520

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 304

View: 1432

I came to Tumblewater just an innocent orphan, and had to grow up fast. I became the storyteller of this place, sticking to the shadows, staying out of sight and seeing all manner of dark things. Follow me, don't make a sound and we both might escape with our lives. The very damp world of Tumblewater is home to some appallingly sick characters and goings-on, as newcome Daniel Dorey is quick to discover. Before he knows it, he is drawn into the town's vivid culture of storytelling, encountering a sinister tale at every twist and turn. But, Daniel comes to wonder, what is real and what is fiction?

Five Go Bump in the Night

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786484781

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 5410

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy go camping in the deep dark woods. Sleep does not come easily, so they have the brilliant idea of telling each other spooky stories. Join the Five as they scare themselves witless recounting tales that would terrify the bravest of souls. From encounters with American werewolves and being lost in space, to ghostly graveyard apparitions, it is hardly surprising that there is a sleepless night ahead of the intrepid crew. Even grumpy old Uncle Quentin and kind Aunt Fanny cannot be relied upon to be entirely themselves . . .

The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Sphere

ISBN: 1405516097

Category: Humor

Page: 224

View: 5438

'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

Five Forget Mother's Day

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786486873

Category: Humor

Page: 112

View: 1432

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond. But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?

Five Get On the Property Ladder

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786484765

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 8795

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy turn their attention to finding a property they can call their very own. Join the Five as they struggle to get their feet (and paws) on the first rung of the property ladder. Luckily cousin Rupert is on hand to help. But not before they've had some very exciting adventures. Who knew that it was all going to be so difficult?

Five Get Beach Body Ready

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786484749

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 385

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way? True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!

Five Escape Brexit Island

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1786486997

Category: Humor

Page: 96

View: 5882

It's a year after the Brexit vote. The four housemates and Timmy are on a visit to see their evil genius cousin Rupert. Rupert owns a chunk of the Jurassic Coast, part of which he has turned into an island and declared independence from Britain. Its fifteenth-century Dorset castle is a tourist attraction, but a computer hack puts the ancient fortifications into lockdown and plunges the Five into peril. Can our intrepid friends escape to the safety of mainland Europe?

School For Villains

Author: Bruno Vincent

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 1447223837

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 256

View: 9658

I looked again at at the door and saw a message scrawled roughly in the mud of the wall above it, as though someone had used their whole hand to gouge it out: RIDLEY GARNET'S SCHOLE FUR VILLAINS. Everyone's favourite orphan-turned-storyteller Daniel Dorey is back - and heads below Tumblewater on his quest to find his sister. He unwittingly enrols in a very strange school, encountering a host of weird and wonderful characters - including for example Dr Bludger, who attacks corpses with an axe to give his students the opportunity to practise stitching. Other lessons are forgery, lock-picking, knife-wielding and still-life painting (with a twist). Will Daniel and his naughty schoolmates be able to put their grisly lessons into practice and help rescue his sister?

Five Go Down Under

Author: Sophie Hamley

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1787471918

Category: Humor

Page: 112

View: 7237

The Famous Five have gone on their greatest adventure yet - a trip Down Under to Oz for some gap year fun. But will it be the adventure they had hoped for? Setting up camp in Bondi they soon meet the Sydney Six, a couple of guitar-strumming Kiwis and a rogue South African and find themselves in the thick of Sydney's real estate perils and the attempts of their omnipresent uncle Rupert Kirrin to buy up the local media. But when the sun, surf and bluebottles have their revenge and things don't quite go according to plan, it's time to head for the country for a spot of sheep-shearing and quad-bike riding. Will the country be kinder to them or will close calls with the Australian wildlife have them heading back to the city before you can say decaff soy latte?

Self-Parenting

The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations

Author: John K. Pollard

Publisher: Generic Human Studies Publishing

ISBN: 094205525X

Category: Self-Help

Page: 257

View: 1964

Explains how to resolve inner conflicts, includes advice on compensating for the poor parenting one received as a child, and suggests self-parenting exercises

James and the Giant Peach

Author: Roald Dahl

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1101653000

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 160

View: 8537

From the bestselling author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The BFG! After James Henry Trotter's parents are tragically eaten by a rhinoceros, he goes to live with his two horrible aunts, Spiker and Sponge. Life there is no fun, until James accidentally drops some magic crystals by the old peach tree and strange things start to happen. The peach at the top of the tree begins to grow, and before long it's as big as a house. Inside, James meets a bunch of oversized friends—Grasshopper, Centipede, Ladybug, and more. With a snip of the stem, the peach starts rolling away, and the great adventure begins! From the Trade Paperback edition.

Meddling Kids

A Novel

Author: Edgar Cantero

Publisher: Anchor

ISBN: 0385542003

Category: Fiction

Page: 336

View: 3884

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "Freaky pleasure...it scratches a nostalgic itch for those who grew up on Saturday morning Scooby-Doo cartoons and sugar-bombed breakfast cereal" --USA Today "Deliriously wild, funny and imaginative. Cantero is an original voice." --Charles Yu, author of How to Live in a Science Fictional Universe With raucous humor and brilliantly orchestrated mayhem, Meddling Kids subverts teen detective archetypes like the Hardy Boys, the Famous Five, and Scooby-Doo, and delivers an exuberant and wickedly entertaining celebration of horror, love, friendship, and many-tentacled, interdimensional demon spawn. SUMMER 1977. The Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in Oregon’s Zoinx River Valley) solved their final mystery and unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster—another low-life fortune hunter trying to get his dirty hands on the legendary riches hidden in Deboën Mansion. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids. 1990. The former detectives have grown up and apart, each haunted by disturbing memories of their final night in the old haunted house. There are too many strange, half-remembered encounters and events that cannot be dismissed or explained away by a guy in a mask. And Andy, the once intrepid tomboy now wanted in two states, is tired of running from her demons. She needs answers. To find them she will need Kerri, the one-time kid genius and budding biologist, now drinking her ghosts away in New York with Tim, an excitable Weimaraner descended from the original canine member of the club. They will also have to get Nate, the horror nerd currently residing in an asylum in Arkham, Massachusetts. Luckily Nate has not lost contact with Peter, the handsome jock turned movie star who was once their team leader . . . which is remarkable, considering Peter has been dead for years. The time has come to get the team back together, face their fears, and find out what actually happened all those years ago at Sleepy Lake. It’s their only chance to end the nightmares and, perhaps, save the world. A nostalgic and subversive trip rife with sly nods to H. P. Lovecraft and pop culture, Edgar Cantero’s Meddling Kids is a strikingly original and dazzling reminder of the fun and adventure we can discover at the heart of our favorite stories, no matter how old we get.