This Book Is Full of Spiders

Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250017904

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 7730

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

John Dies at the End

Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

ISBN: 9781250035950

Category: Fiction

Page: 496

View: 9945

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STOP. You should not have touched this book with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read John Dies at the End, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this is was my fault.

What the Hell Did I Just Read

A Novel of Cosmic Horror

Author: David Wong

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1466835443

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 4999

It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

A Novel

Author: David Wong

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 1250040191

Category: Fiction

Page: 384

View: 5881

New York Times bestselling author David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with his latest darkly comic sci-fi thriller.

Biology of Spiders

Author: Rainer Foelix

Publisher: OUP USA

ISBN: 0199734828

Category: Nature

Page: 419

View: 7470

One of the only books to treat the whole spider, from its behavior and physiology to its neurobiology and reproductive characteristics, Biology of Spiders is considered a classic in spider literature. First published in German in 1979, the book is now in its third edition, and has established itself as the supreme authority on these fascinating creatures. Containing five hundred new references, this book incorporates the latest research while dispelling many oft-heard myths and misconceptions that surround spiders. Of special interest are chapters on the structure and function of spider webs and silk, as well as those on spider venom. A new subchapter on tarantulas will appeal especially to tarantula keepers and breeders. The highly accessible text is supplemented by exceptional, high-quality photographs, many of them originals, and detailed diagrams. It will be of interest to arachnologists, entomologists, and zoologists, as well as to academics, students of biology, and the general reader curious about spiders.

The Oracle Year

A Novel

Author: Charles Soule

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 0062686658

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 7815

From bestselling comic-book franchise writer Charles Soule comes a clever and witty first novel of a twentysomething New Yorker who wakes up one morning with the power to predict the future—perfect for fans of Joe Hill and Brad Meltzer, or books like This Book Is Full of Spiders and Welcome to Night Vale. Knowledge is power. So when an unassuming Manhattan bassist named Will Dando awakens from a dream one morning with 108 predictions about the future in his head, he rapidly finds himself the most powerful man in the world. Protecting his anonymity by calling himself the Oracle, he sets up a heavily guarded Web site with the help of his friend Hamza to selectively announce his revelations. In no time, global corporations are offering him millions for exclusive access, eager to profit from his prophecies. He's also making a lot of high-powered enemies, from the President of the United States and a nationally prominent televangelist to a warlord with a nuclear missile and an assassin grandmother. Legions of cyber spies are unleashed to hack the Site—as it's come to be called—and the best manhunters money can buy are deployed not only to unmask the Oracle but to take him out of the game entirely. With only a handful of people he can trust—including a beautiful journalist—it's all Will can do to simply survive, elude exposure, and protect those he loves long enough to use his knowledge to save the world. Delivering fast-paced adventure on a global scale as well as sharp-witted satire on our concepts of power and faith, Marvel writer Charles Soule's audacious debut novel takes readers on a rollicking ride where it's impossible to predict what will happen next.

The Unnoticeables

A Novel

Author: Robert Brockway

Publisher: Tor Books

ISBN: 1466869305

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 6868

From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy. There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved. Carey doesn't much like that idea. As a punk living in New York City, 1977, Carey is sick and tired of watching strange kids with unnoticeable faces abduct his friends. He doesn't care about the rumors of tar-monsters in the sewers or unkillable psychopaths invading the punk scene—all he wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings. Kaitlyn isn't sure what she's doing with her life. She came to Hollywood in 2013 to be a stunt woman, but last night a former teen heartthrob tried to eat her, her best friend has just gone missing, and there's an angel outside her apartment. Whatever she plans on doing with her life, it should probably happen in the few remaining minutes she has left. There are angels. There are demons. They are the same thing. It's up to Carey and Kaitlyn to stop them. The survival of the human race is in their hands. We are, all of us, well and truly screwed. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders

Author: Samuel R. Delany

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781936833146

Category: Fiction

Page: 804

View: 462

Follows the lives of Eric Jeffers and Morgan Haskell, two African Americans who meet at the ages of seventeen and nineteen, respectively, become a couple, and spend the next sixty years together.

Deep Dark Fears

Author: Fran Krause

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 1607748150

Category: Comic books, strips, etc

Page: 144

View: 6158

"We all have strange, irrational fears from seeing ghosts in the bedroom mirror to being sucked into a mall escalator or finding yourself miles below the ocean s surface on the deck of a sunken ship. In Deep Dark Fears, animator, illustrator, and cartoonist Fran Krause brings these fears to life in 101 vividly illustrated comics inspired by his wildly popular web comic and based on real fears submitted by online readers. Deep Dark Fears explores our gruesome, hilarious, and bizarre anxieties, revealing a primal part of our humanity and highlighting both our idiosyncrasies and our similarities. This devilishly humorous guide explores our drive to experience and share the wonders of the world and the dangers lurking around every corner."

Jam

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 150670641X

Category: Fiction

Page: 288

View: 4102

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented. Yahtzee Croshaw (Mogworld, Zero Punctuation Reviews) returns to print with a follow-up to his smash-hit debut: Jam, a dark comedy about the one apocalypse no one predicted. * The hilarious new novel by the author of Mogworld! * Croshaw's Zero Punctuation Reviews is the most viewed video game review on the web! * For lovers of bizarre horror and unforgettable characters! "[Croshaw is] able to pull off slapstick comedy in print, and that's no easy feat." –ComicsAlliance

Kraken Rising: Alex Hunter 6

Author: Greig Beck

Publisher: Momentum

ISBN: 1760301299

Category: Fiction

Page: 458

View: 8244

The Arcadian returns to the dark ice in a reprisal of one of his first and most deadly missions. But this time the stakes couldn't be higher. In 2008, a top secret US submarine went missing on its test voyage off the coast of Antarctica. After years of silence, its emergency beacon is suddenly activated, but strangely, the beacon is emanating from a point miles below the ice sheets of the frozen continent. The race is on. The Chinese government, alerted at the same time as the Americans, is after the submarine's secrets. And the Americans need to retrieve their technology, quickly and quietly, from a place now marked as an international forbidden zone. With the reluctant assistance of petrobiologist Aimee Weir, Alex Hunter and his team of HAWCs return to the location of their first mission together. But only a few members of the team know the truth. A treacherous horror lies in wait for them, deep beneath the Antarctic ice. A direct follow up to 2009's Beneath the Dark Ice this thriller is packed with mystery and suspense, and perfect for fans of Matthew Reilly, Steve Alten, Myke Cole, Graham Masterton, James Rollins and Michael Crichton.

Britain's Spiders

A Field Guide

Author: Lawrence Bee,Geoff Oxford,Helen Smith

Publisher: Princeton University Press

ISBN: 140088506X

Category: Nature

Page: 480

View: 1779

Britain’s Spiders is a photographic guide to all 37 of the British families, focussing on spiders that can be identified in the field. Illustrated with a remarkable collection of photographs, it is designed to be accessible to a wide audience, including those new to spider identification. This book pushes the boundaries of field identification for this challenging group by combining information on features that can be seen with the naked eye or a hand lens with additional evidence from webs, egg-sacs, behaviour, phenology, habitats and distributions. Individual accounts cover 395 of Britain’s approximately 670 species, with the limitations to field identification clearly explained. As the first photographic field guide to British spiders to be published since 1989, this book fills a major gap in the resources available to everyone with an interest in this fascinating, diverse and important group of animals. More than 700 stunning photographs Includes a guide to spider families, based on features recognisable in the field, focussing on body shape and other characteristics, as well as separate guides to webs and egg-sacs Detailed accounts highlight key identification tips for each genus and species, and include information on status, behaviour and habitats Features up-to-date distribution maps, and charts showing adult seasonality Introductory chapters explore the biology of spiders, and where, when and how to find them, including equipment needed in the field Contains a complete list of the spiders recorded in Britain, indicating the ease of identification as well as rarity and conservation status Provides information on how to record spiders and make your records count, and guidance on how to take your interest further

Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw

Publisher: Dark Horse Comics

ISBN: 1506701655

Category: FICTION

Page: 232

View: 9208

Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue.

This Book Is Full of Spiders

Author: Hanzo Adem

Publisher: dgfhj

ISBN: N.A

Category:

Page: N.A

View: 7139

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

Charlotte's Web (full color)

Author: E. B. White

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0064410935

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 192

View: 4039

Beloved by generations, Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little are two of the most cherished stories of all time. Now, for the first time ever, these treasured classics are available in lavish new collectors' editions. In addition to a larger trim size, the original black-and-white art by Garth Williams has been lovingly colorized by renowned illustrator Rosemary Wells, adding another dimension to these two perfect books for young and old alike.

What If?

Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

Author: Randall Munroe

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

ISBN: 0544272994

Category: Humor

Page: 320

View: 2463

The creator of the incredibly popular webcomic xkcd presents his heavily researched answers to his fans' oddest questions, including “What if I took a swim in a spent-nuclear-fuel pool?” and “Could you build a jetpack using downward-firing machine guns?” 100,000 first printing.

Apathy and Other Small Victories

A Novel

Author: Paul Neilan

Publisher: St. Martin's Press

ISBN: 1429907347

Category: Fiction

Page: 240

View: 4181

A scathingly funny debut novel about disillusionment, indifference, and one man's desperate fight to assign absolutely no meaning to modern life. The only thing Shane cares about is leaving. Usually on a Greyhound bus, right before his life falls apart again. Just like he planned. But this time it's complicated: there's a sadistic corporate climber who thinks she's his girlfriend, a rent-subsidized affair with his landlord's wife, and the bizarrely appealing deaf assistant to Shane's cosmically unstable dentist. When one of the women is murdered, and Shane is the only suspect who doesn't care enough to act like he didn't do it, the question becomes just how he'll clear the good name he never had and doesn't particularly want: his own. “The malaise of cubicle culture may be well-trodden comedic territory by now, but Neilan's debut skewers office life with a flourish for the grotesque.” —The Village Voice

Paul Is Undead

Author: Alan Goldsher

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781439177952

Category: Fiction

Page: 320

View: 4180

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO REALLY MEET THE BEATLES. For John Lennon, a young, idealistic zombie guitarist with dreams of global domination, Liverpool seems the ideal place to form a band that could take over the world. In an inspired act, Lennon kills and reanimates local rocker Paul McCartney, kicking off an unstoppable partnership. With the addition of newly zombified guitarist George Harrison and drummer/Seventh Level Ninja Lord Ringo Starr, the Beatles soon cut a swath of bloody good music and bloody violent mayhem across Europe, America, and the entire planet. In this searing oral history, discover how the Fab Four climbed to the Toppermost of the Poppermost while stealing the hearts, ears, and brains of smitten teenage girls. Learn the tale behind a spiritual journey that resulted in the dismemberment of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Marvel at the seemingly indestructible quartet’s survival of a fierce attack by Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. And find out how the boys escaped eternal death at the hands of England’s greatest zombie hunter, Mick Jagger. Through all this, one mystery remains: Can the Beatles sublimate their hunger for gray matter, remain on top of the charts, and stay together for all eternity? After all, three of the Fab Four are zombies, and zombies live forever. . . .

Spiders

Author: Tom Hoyle

Publisher: Pan Macmillan

ISBN: 1447250478

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: N.A

View: 4153

Adam may have survived once, but a cult still has him in its sights. And this time he may not escape with his life... Abbie's dad is an undercover agent, tasked with exposing dangerous cults. He's normally able to maintain his distance, but this time Abbie's worried he's in too deep. Megan was sure she and Adam were safe, but now he's gone missing on a school ski trip in Scotland and she's the only one who can help him... The web is closing in around Adam...

The Girl in the Spider's Web

A Lisbeth Salander novel, continuing Stieg Larsson's Millennium Series

Author: David Lagercrantz

Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

ISBN: 0385354290

Category: Fiction

Page: 416

View: 2888

Soon to be a major motion picture starring Claire Foy. Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist return in this ripped-from-the-headlines, high-octane follow-up to Stieg Larsson's The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. One of the Best Books of the Year NPR * USA Today * O, The Oprah Magazine * Esquire A genius hacker who has always been an outsider. A journalist with a penchant for danger. She is Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo. He is Mikael Blomkvist, crusading editor of Millennium. One night, Blomkvist receives a call from a source who claims to have been given information vital to the United States by a young female hacker. Blomkvist, always on the lookout for a story, reaches out to Salander for help. She, as usual, has plans of her own. Together they are drawn into a ruthless underworld of spies, cybercriminals, and government operatives—some willing to kill to protect their secrets.